More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt."
"I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag with dirt, because my goal is to be the largest land holder in the world by the time I'm 42."
"I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."