More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I don’t remember my birth. I guess I got dementia at a young age."
"She said she loved me, and I didn’t believe it for a minute. Maybe 59 seconds, but not a whole minute. I may be gullible, but I’m not without an accurate way to measure time."
"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"William Hurt has a painful last name. Kevin Love has a name perfect for February 14th. But what about Johnny Longdong? Where does he fit?"
"I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them."