#Weird

"I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to participate in my choreographed dance routine, bring a football helmet and a half empty can of tuna (keeps the stray cats away, because I perform in a gritty, grimy downtown alley)."

"I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation starter."

"Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone."

"I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink."

"There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house."

"We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars)."

"I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather, to have that "new car smell"all the time."

"I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing."

"If my name were Mememem, and I had just ran into someone who should have known my name but couldn’t recall it, I’d probably say, “I can’t believe you don’t remememember my name."

"It's weird doing red carpets; it's uncomfortable. But you can have a sense of humor about it."

"I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money."

"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success."

"You say freak, I say unique."

"There are people who are generic. They make generic responses and they expect generic answers. They live inside a box and they think people who don't fit into their box are weird. But I'll tell you what, generic people are the weird people. They are like genetically-manipulated plants growing inside a laboratory, like indistinguishable faces, like droids. Like ignorance."

"A girl’s got to use what she’s given and I’m not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does. So I take it to extremes. I don’t say I dress sexily on stage - what I do is so extreme. It’s meant to make guys think: ‘I don’t know if this is sexy or just weird."

"My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?"

"Art imitates life and, sometimes, life imitates art. It's a weird combination of elements."

"On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars."

"I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him."

"I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually."