#Weird

"I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually."

"I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing."

"I'm going to do a lot of weird stuff that's not going to be like me prancing around like an insane 12-year-old. I showed everybody that side of me and I think it's time to do different stuff, even when it comes down to the type of humor. I want to do some drier, weirder stuff."

"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."

"33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins."

"For me, I really love 'Tim and Eric' and 'Dr. Steve Brule' and a lot of the Adult Swim shows, so I like strange, weird, sometimes slightly upsetting humor."

"Art imitates life and, sometimes, life imitates art. It's a weird combination of elements."

"My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?"

"We all know interspecies romance is weird."

"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success."

"I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet."

"There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house."

"I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather, to have that "new car smell"all the time."

"You say freak, I say unique."

"It's weird doing red carpets; it's uncomfortable. But you can have a sense of humor about it."

"We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars)."

"When the clock reads 3:00, I don’t call it three o’clock, I call it three hundred, and I remember the Spartans. At 3:01, however, I remember what I was doing at 2:59, and I get back to it."

"A girl’s got to use what she’s given and I’m not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does. So I take it to extremes. I don’t say I dress sexily on stage - what I do is so extreme. It’s meant to make guys think: ‘I don’t know if this is sexy or just weird."

"Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone."

"I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to participate in my choreographed dance routine, bring a football helmet and a half empty can of tuna (keeps the stray cats away, because I perform in a gritty, grimy downtown alley)."