More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The curve of her smile, the curve of the small of her back, the curve of her laugh, everything about her makes me want to be more well-rounded."
"I asked for info, and he offered it for a price. Now I’m selling him my security services, and if he doesn’t pay me, I’m going to give him a karate lesson—for free."
"We made love like a goat has four legs like a table. If your dining room table can walk, it’s best to eat while sitting in wheelchairs."
"I love how babies look like old people. I saw a baby the other day that looked exactly like my grandpa, only taller."
"Taking a break. Been working solid for the last few hours, as opposed to working liquid, which is more drinkable. Can I pour you a glass of productivity?"