More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up."
"If you work in a hospital, you can’t easily fake call in sick to work. Oh, you’re sick? Well why don’t you come in to work and we’ll have a look at it."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."