#witty

"My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony."

"If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them."

"Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia."

"....Charles laughingly observed,'Gospel and the blues are really, if you break it down, almost the same thing. It's just a question of whether you're talkin' about a woman or God."

"I like to spoon after I fork."

"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."

"Create your own path.Don't blindly follow the massess... because most of the time the "M"is silent."

"Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear."

"A pause followed my greeting. Then “We’re watching you ” whispered the voice on the other end.“Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”Silence. Then dial tone.These younger demons. So easily discouraged."

"I've come to the point where I never feel the need to stop and evaluate whether or not I am happy. I'm just 'being', and without question, by default, it works."

"There was a time when skepticism was an act of rebellion. Since to a degree I both believe in evolution and have faith, I can only conclude that, as prophesied, to have faith will someday be an act of rebellion."

"This year I vow to learn how to garden. I will be the Farmer of Love and grow in understanding and forgiveness."

"I’ll give you 50% off for half a year, or 100% off for a whole year. At these bargain discount prices, my love won’t last forever."

"I’d heard you were dead.”"I heard you wear a red lace corset,” I said matter-of-factly. “But I don’t believe every bit of nonsense that gets rumored about."

"Your friends can be double-edged knife thy can either nurture you or destroy you. Choose them Wisely......"

"Using my thumb and middle finger, I tend to make snap decisions. Right away I know whether I like a song or not."

"I dance so fluid you’d think I’m a fish. I don’t need to drink to be able to dance—I am the drink. Have a sip and find out for yourself."

"Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much."

"Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large."

"This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here."