#witty

"A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn't implement any of it."

"I’ll give you 50% off for half a year, or 100% off for a whole year. At these bargain discount prices, my love won’t last forever."

"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."

"This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here."

"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"

"If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for."

"I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late."

"....Charles laughingly observed,'Gospel and the blues are really, if you break it down, almost the same thing. It's just a question of whether you're talkin' about a woman or God."

"A pause followed my greeting. Then “We’re watching you ” whispered the voice on the other end.“Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”Silence. Then dial tone.These younger demons. So easily discouraged."

"I like to spoon after I fork."

"Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear."

"Your friends can be double-edged knife thy can either nurture you or destroy you. Choose them Wisely......"

"Using my thumb and middle finger, I tend to make snap decisions. Right away I know whether I like a song or not."

"Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other."

"This year I vow to learn how to garden. I will be the Farmer of Love and grow in understanding and forgiveness."

"Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much."

"I've come to the point where I never feel the need to stop and evaluate whether or not I am happy. I'm just 'being', and without question, by default, it works."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

"Create your own path.Don't blindly follow the massess... because most of the time the "M"is silent."

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs."