More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up."
"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."
"You’re used to being the smartest guy in the room. Solitary confinement will do that."