If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re a... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."

"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."

"If religion is a crutch, then society is the broken foot."

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."

"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."