More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"
"I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing."
"I strum a fishing pole line like a guitar string. I hunt like a bow and arrow is a partial harp. And I make love like I’ve got a Buy One Get One FREE coupon."
"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."
"We had a lavender kind of love, so soothing and smooth, and if I could bottle up what we had, you'd want it all over your body."