More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time."
"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."
"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."