More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."
"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."
"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."