It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."

"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."

"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."

"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."

"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."