More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Noise soup. I just made it. Taste it with your ears."
"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."
"I have an inconsequential errand to run tomorrow so I’ll get up at 5, be there at 5:30, and wait for them to open up at 10. I’m never late, except in love."
"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."
"My love for you grows daily, and all it takes is exposure to your sunny disposition, coupled with watering it with coffee."