More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"He’s right-handed, so I told him to draw his self-portrait with his left hand, because it’d look so ugly it’d look realistic. Since he’s a DC politician, I figured a little reality was needed in his life."
"Flowers are aromatic and romantic, and they grow exactly the way love does—with plenty of light, and watered with affection."
"I am a slave to your love. Well, more like indentured servant."
"If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping."
"I think about her sometimes, and wonder what she’s doing and who she’s doing it with. I suppose I could just stalk her Facebook page like a normal person, but that doesn’t seem as romantic as surveillance and GPS tracking."