More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk."
"Reading makes you ready for the world. A man who doesn’t read is a man who is easily deceived. You must find that man and make him sign a contract, and you must do it before Satan does. Trust me, the profits are HUGE!"
"I'm hanging on to her memory like Spanish moss on an ancient Florida oak, and unlike the sunset, my love won't fade."
"She’s not a pothead. That thing on her neck is a vase. And anyway, I’m all for legalization. After all, why should surrealism be illegal?"
"Now that I’m 33.3 years old, the days of blue and green are behind me. I have left the earthy and entered into the purple phase of my life."