"Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag."
"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."
"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."
"My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time."
"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."
"Last time I arm-wrestled, I broke my leg. Boy, what I wouldn’t do for love."