"Nostalgia is being blind to the bad and only remembering the good. Thinking about all the love I had for her is a positively Helen-Kelleresque experience."
"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."
"New streets should be Twitter friendly and be named with hashtags up front. I’d build a house on #LoversLane."
"She said she loved me, and I believed her, because she was looking directly at another man when she said it."
"My reality is it’s nighttime. The truth is I’m just blindfolded. How many people live like me, in self-deluded darkness?"
"If I could make tea out of your love, would it be hot, or iced? Would it be black, or green? Would it be sweet, or unsweet? Would you offer free refills?"