"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."
"Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love."
"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"
"She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter."
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."
"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."