"The cat hair floated in the air like a sound vibration, and I plucked it like a guitar string. Sometimes I can be so musical I’m like a living love song."
"I must be a great leader because many people follow me. Most of the people are police officers, if that gives you any indication of my character."
"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."
"You haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen zero. You also haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen all the love I have for politicians."
"I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin."
"He rose like heroes, and I rose like rows of red roses. Love grows wherever you plant it, so I try to farm it wherever I go."