"You can’t buy love, it’s true. However, I am offering mine for rent. Buy one year and get the next six months at half price."
"A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it’s not. It’s full of my love for you."
"Asking me if I’m in love is like asking a mortician if now is the best time to die."
"I want to write a song about the only girl I’ve ever loved. And the chorus will say something like, “I really want to see you tonight, so I hope you leave your blinds open."
"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."