#sarcasm

"Can you enter a house uninvited?""No.""Why?""That would be rude."

"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."

"I’m so sunburned I’m embarrassed, but you can’t tell I’m blushing because I’m sunburned. I’m so ashamed I could just lie on the beach and die."

"the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin.On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?"Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful.""Yes,"said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats."

"I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible."

"I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-""It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule."

"Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace"

"I don't profess any religion; I don't think it’s possible that there is a God; I have the greatest difficulty in understanding what is meant by the words ‘spiritual’ or ‘spirituality.'[Interview, The New Yorker, Dec. 26, 2005]"

"You like them,"I realized.Noah's eyebrows lifted in question."Like as people.""As opposed to...furniture?""They're my PARENTS.""That is my understanding, yes."

"Why aren’t red traffic lights heart-shaped? Probably because it’s not like rush hour can get any more romantic."

"As an author, I like self-help, because clapping can be done by myself, for myself. I should buy gloves."

"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."

"I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic."

"They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,"Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me."

"If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead."

"It’s fascinating. You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don’t make any sense."

"Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?”“That you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. "You’re a little young for him, to be honest.”“What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted."

"It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'."

"How 'bout a shot of truth in that denial cocktail."

"You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny."