#sarcasm

"It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'."

"Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse."

"Relationships are so much like the United States - they only really thrive when faced with an external threat."

"How 'bout a shot of truth in that denial cocktail."

"You've read half the books in this house? This whole house?""Well, approximately half."Sticky said. "To be more accurate, I suppose I've read more like"- his eyes went up as he calculated - "three sevenths? Yes, three sevenths.""Only three sevenths?"said Kate, pretending to look disappointed. "And here I was prepared to be impressed."

"I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain."

"Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt."

"I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic."

"Can you enter a house uninvited?""No.""Why?""That would be rude."

"I don't profess any religion; I don't think it’s possible that there is a God; I have the greatest difficulty in understanding what is meant by the words ‘spiritual’ or ‘spirituality.'[Interview, The New Yorker, Dec. 26, 2005]"

"Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads."

"You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny."

"Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?”“That you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. "You’re a little young for him, to be honest.”“What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted."

"If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead."

"The key to humor is often self-loathing or sarcasm. In a sense, that's how self-loathing is made palatable."

"Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?""Is that including, or not including you?"

"I have church on Sunday.”“Of course you do.”“You’re welcome to come along.”“Thanks, but I’m allergic to incense.”“That’s a shame.”“It’s the bane of my existence.”- Beth and Jake"

"As an author, I like self-help, because clapping can be done by myself, for myself. I should buy gloves."

"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."

"I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point."