You know that look that women get when they want to have sex... - Steve Martin

"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."

"Be so good they can't ignore you."

"Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."

"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."

"It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch."