Steve Martin

"Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."

"You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither."

"Be so good they can't ignore you."

"It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch."

"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."

"Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way."

"I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot."

"I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."

"Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything."

"It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch."

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper."

"It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch."

"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."

"Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."

"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."

"I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't."

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."