"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."
"You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen."
"Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights."
"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"
"Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love."
"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."