#Interview

"Your hair is still wet!"

"I had an interview once with some German journalist—some horrible, ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists—maybe a week after—and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She had huge tits and a huge black bra, and she said to me, ‘It’s impolite; remove your glasses.’ I said, ‘Do I ask you to remove your bra?"

"I'd rather strive for the kind of interview where instead of me asking to introduce myself to society, society asks me to introduce myself to society."

"I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay."

"I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor."

"Harry and Hermione are very platonic friends. But I won't answer for anyone else, nudge-nudge wink-wink!"

"I started out of course with Hemingway when I learned how to write. Until I realized Hemingway doesn't have a sense of humor. He never has anything funny in his stories."

"It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen."

"I met Elton John at an Interview dinner, and we just sort of became friends. He's got such a wicked sense of humor."

"Trying to live up to yourself is the most trying thing."

"I think that perhaps if I had had to slow down the ideas so that I could capture them on paper I might have stifled some of them."