#knowing-oneself

"Doldrums People who live in the doldrumscan't throw caution to the wind."

"Wrong Number [10w] There is no such thing as dialing a wrong number."

"Upgrading [10w] Promise them the worldto get the universe in return."

"Goat Fucking for Dummies You gently fuck a female goat ~you got to ram the malesto make any progress."

"Note to Self: Patent #10w Diving Mask for fish filled with water when oceans disappear."

"Words of Wisdom [10w] Words of wisdom worth saying wouldfit on a T-shirt.@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@­:::::"

"Whose Asphalt Is It? [10w] The road to mediocrity is paved with asphalt and tarmac."

"Bagels and Lox Life's an everything bagel;love is a schmear of scallion cream cheese;and lox, no matter how you cut it,is resistant to dumbass metaphors."

"♀ Travelers vs. ♀ Tourists [10w] + [10w] Female travelers wear no makeup, stringy jewelry and Jesus sandals.Female travelers wear overcaked makeup, diamond jewelry and Gucci Booties."

"Love Haiku Sumerian whoregrabs my wedge, says: 'I love aman in cuneiform."

"Ringtones Haiku 'Oy! Dai, da-ye-nu,Dai, da-ye-nu, Dai, da-ye-nu...'"Answer your fucking phone!"

"Got Hate? When a hater cozily whispers shit in your ear about them,what does that say about you?"

"Witchcraft vs. Wordcraft [10w] Covens of witches convened at their annual unconventional Coven’s Convention."

"Lubbock, Texas Haiku Oil wells, Hub of the Plains.Stinks like an armpit."

"California Haiku "After my boob jobI'm taking acting lessons.Fuck's fifty, no anal."

"There's More Than Two Choices [10w] Don't take the road less traveled;blaze your own path."

"What is the Meaning of Life? [10w] {6} To be transformed into all we are capable of becoming."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"Rewrite☷Rewrite [10w] Happiness writes new memories;New losses rewrite over old ones."

"Lotto If I won a million bucks in Lotto,I'd give it to Charity.Charity gives great head."