#Master

"Ars Poetica: Write Poetry on a Black Slate Poetry should be written on a black slate of imagination,the poet artfully allowing images to emerge from the dark."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"Opportunity Knocks: China When opportunity knocksthe Chinese make knock-offs."

"The Refugee I packed my car with cash and valuablesand headed for the border.At the first checkpoint they took my cash.At the second they took my valuables.At the border they took my car and my shoes.I walked barefoot the last 100 feet to freedom,and was greeted with open arms by a person I didn't recognize.In time I discovered that strangerwas the me they could not take from me."

"Biggest Problem with 10w [10w] The biggest problem with aphorisms is people believe they're true."

"Jesus [10w] "Sorry to keep you hanging,but it's just our nature."

"The Warrior's Way To the warrior,peace is an annoying interruption of war."

"Natural Born Killers [10w] After their first,every soldier becomes a natural born killer."

"Family [10w] Family is a truth pill ~ just beware of an overdose."

"The Universe Begins and Ends in Us If a telescope could see beyond the edges of the universe,we would see ourselves looking into a telescope trying to see beyond the edges of universe."

"Straight Men vs. Curved Women [10w] 'Straight' men who approach 'curved' women must'mind the gap'."

"Love Fades [10w] Like our love,Chinese painters show distance in faded grays."

"Jew in a Canoe Haiku Jew in a canoe,whitewater rushes, the canoe tips.The Jew doesn't."

"Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband."

"Preparation [10w] Hope for the best, but prepare for your insufferable wife."

"Before It's Too Late [10w] Life's too transient to waste time hating ~plot revenge now!"

"Children and Food [10w] Once children order like grown-upsfood's lost its sweet innocence."

"Pain vs. Pleasure {Couplet} Pain and pleasure are nearly identical,the difference lies in their temporal perception.Pleasure feels fleeting, pain feels unending;both jolt us at the nerve's first inception."

"Hung [10w] Being caught with your pants down is a hanging offense."

"Il Principe 2015: Lesson 2 ~ Shit If you're going to run for public office,you must first scrape the shit off your shoe,or the stink will follow you."