#masters

"Spontaneous Gift Giving [10w] Learn to give gifts spontaneously accompanied by a love note."

"Grass in a Sidewalk Crack Grass sprounting miraculously in a sidewalk crack is a metaphor forlousy maintenance."

"Self-Help I asked the bookseller,'Do you have any self-help books for addiction?'He said,'If I tell you, I'd be enabling you."

"Jesus Christ Hiaku Jesus Christget a job already.You're killing your mother!"

"Opportunities Come a Knockin' [10w] Never miss the opportunity to fuck or write poetry."

"Sex Kitchens of the Future [10w] Her entire kitchen was made of silicone ~ including her breasts."

"Seafood My body's just a shell,the world is my oyster ~and I'm getting a whale of appetiteright now for some delicious seafood ."

"FBI vs. CIA When a person works for the FBI for 20 years and retires,he gets a watch.When a person works for the CIA for 20 years and retires,he gets watched.I know this not because I'm in law enforcement or with the NSA ~I know this because I have HBO."

"Nature's Prayer [10w] + {Couplet} Trees gesticulate in morning prayer;wind circulates with cleansing air."

"Hellman's Mayonnaise: Bring out the Hellman's and bring out the best... ...artery clogger since Burger King’s Triple Whopper with Cheese."

"Getting Even Bring a gun to a knife-fight,Bring a nuke to a war.Even if you don't win,You'll even the score.““”̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿’̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪ⓧ)=ε/̵͇̿̿/̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿"

"Spooning [10w] Love means tasting her spaghetti sauce on a wooden spoon."

"Extra Crispy Deranged Free Range Chickens "Hey, I may be delusional in believing you're delusional,but one thinks for sure, the person who bothers to read this shit is delusional."

"Today's Affirmation [10w] "I'll unplug myself from myselfand plug into something higher."

"Fulfillment [10w] Sometime fulfillment goes beyond the date Amazon delivers your order."

"What Women Think Women don't care if you got a six pack if you slurp you soup."

"From the Slobodan Milošević interview during the the Hague Tribunal : 'What are your hobbies?' [10w] "I enjoy gardening because weeding reminds me of ethnic cleansing."

"Optimists vs. Death [10w] Optimists are hopeful people who see a coffin as half-full."

"Breaking with Tradition is Tradition You can take the poem outside of tradition,but you can't take tradition out of the poem."

"How Much Space? {Couplet} Give a lover space enough to rejoice in their choice,but not enough room for their doubts to give voice."