#masters

"Pussy Whipped I was pussy whipped with four lashes.It was a helluva threesome ~but I still can't get the damn mascara off my one-eyed snake."

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"Political Strategists Avoids the Controversial [10w] Politicians win by pandering to the base of shared assumptions."

"Lowbrows vs. Highbrows If you show something lowbrow to a highbrow does it wind up becoming crusty eye caca?"

"Tangled [10w] Love becomes a tangle of roots submerged in common soil."

"Lady Gaga Haiku A cow has a big head, deep voice, a long tongue, butLady Gaga he's not."

"My Fathers Last Words My dad was a sadist and whorehound.His last words were,'Son, I have a million dollars hidden in the."

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."

"Yams vs. Sweet Potatoes vs. Cassava vs. Popeye [10w] "I am that I am that I am a yam."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"Hellman's Mayonnaise: Bring out the Hellman's and bring out the best... ...artery clogger since Burger King’s Triple Whopper with Cheese."

"Credo of a Substitute Teacher I'm a 'sugar free' substitute teacher.I speak frankly and never gave any of my studentsa single word of encouragement.Why should I? Even after 10 years the school hasn't given me a pension, health insurance or paid sick leave.So fuck 'em.Fuck 'em all."

"The Poet as Enchantress [10w] + {Couplet} The poet is an enchantress,with or without a dress."

"Pond(er) This [10w] Nobody wants to be:'Big fish in a little pond."

"Ranger Smith, Unemployement and the Possibility of Unperceived Existence If a tree falls in the forest and we're not there,do we fire the park ranger without making a sound?"

"Knowledgeable [10w] The knowledgeable man inventoried and catalogued everything he doesn't know."

"Visual Pun [10w] Example of visual pun:cloud shaped like a banana peel."

"Death [10w] What the the dying most resent is life goes on."

"Rewrite☷Rewrite [10w] Happiness writes new memories;New losses rewrite over old ones."

"Love and Death [10w] A person who lives without love chooses death by default."