#masters

"Lady Gaga Haiku A cow has a big head, deep voice, a long tongue, butLady Gaga he's not."

"Vapers I bought a vape pen from a vaporium.The vapologist advised meto get the model with the refillable vape tank.When the fuck did smoking become so vapid?"

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"Hermits vs. Rising Real Estate Costs [10w] Hermits can no longer afford a cabin in the woods."

"Darkness Darkness is a decision the light cannot dissuade."

"Autumn Ikebana [10w] + {Haiku} Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves.or:Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves."

"Mercy vs. Revenge "May God have mercy on my unfaithful, back-stabbing, adulterous husband because I sure as hell won't."

"Laughter and The Chosen [10w] Making people laugh is God's gift to the Chosen People."

"Frank Lloyd Wright {Couplet} Frank Lloyd Wright eliminated the confining wall,so now when your wife screams at youit sounds like you're in Tammany Hall."

"BFF, My Ass ~ It's a Jungle Out There! About one-third of all marriages are procured by sabotaging your best friend's happiness."

"What is God? [17] [10w] God has a fondness for cosmology and carbon-based life forms."

"Make It Happen!!! [10w] Don't wait for someone to fall in love with you."

"Fucking 3rd World Taxi Drivers [10w] Taxi drivers have ruined more vacations than tsunamis or earthquakes."

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"Love's War [10w] In love's war there aren't winners and losers ~just casualties."

"Fame [10w] Fame has a funny way of rewriting your entire past."

"Lenny Bruce I'm going to be rich!I figured out how to get schlong-juice stains off of suede."

"Good and Evil To have good and evil the Devil must always remain a step beyond saving."

"Deadlines The only deadline I plan on missing is the one at the cemetery."

"Pedestals [10w] People should not be placed on pedestals unless they're stuffed."