#mastery

"Overheard at Ashtanga Yoga Class *"I don't know my he left me. I even had a rabbit's food hanging from my dreamcatcher.""Maybe you should've used a little more suction and a few less amulets."

"As Dead As "Nothing's changed at my place of birth.It is as dead as I remember leaving it."

"Pretending to be Deep ;) [10w] Only from the mountain's valley can you see the peak."

"Ballz Deep & Strange Haiku [1] Down the schnapps, third eye,cat flaps, pussy hole, fish lips,cha cha, ooo la la."

"The 3 Most Powerful Words in the English Language for Every College Student [3w] Ilovepizza"

"Damn You, TripAdvisor! My penis deserves to be a World Heritage Site,judging by the number of tourists trampling on my balls."

"War [10w] Fight wars not to win, but so our enemies don't."

"La Récolteuse de la Mort Je suis la Récolteuse de la Mort et ~vous êtes ce que je viens pour les!"

"Office Depot: Taking Care of Business... ...with short breaks, bad management and no job advancement opportunities."

"2 Rules on Becoming a Good Poet [10w] Rule#1: Never write shitty poetry.Rule#2: Never forget Rule #1."

"Dressed to Kill [10w] At fashionable parties,vegetarians should not be dressed to kill."

"Love vs. Mental Illness [10w] Love, like mental illness, comes on graduallyand then suddenly."

"Switch Hitter [10w] Aphorisms are penned in my left brain,poetry, my right."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"Privacy [10w] Why someone prefers his privacy is itself a private matter."

"Cormorant’s Flight [10w] The cormorant’s flight is the first shadow of the wave."

"but,=""soft!=""what=""light=""through=""yonder=""window=""breaks?"=""[10w]="""Shut the fuck up! I think we got a burglar."

"Shadows are only Neutral at Noon [10w] + {Couplet} Whose side shadows fall upon,tis' ordained by reigning sun."

"Speak to the Head [10w] + {Couplet} Tis of no fucking availTo speak to the tail."

"Buddha (Haiku) Buddha, Enlightened,I rub your belly to blessmy Lotto ticket."