#mastery

"Wine [10w] American wines tasting as good as French wines are presumptuous."

"Poetry as Entertainment [10w] Poetry that's not entertaining is just a self-indulgent laundry list."

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Biggest Problem with 10w [10w] The biggest problem with aphorisms is people believe they're true."

"Shit Poetry [10w] Poetry without grace of expression is just so much shit."

"God Created [10w] Lips were created to kiss and hands to make peace."

"McDonald's I love and rescue stray dogs, duct tape Burger King crowns to their heads and set them loose in McDonald's."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"First Things First "Where are you?"is the voice of God."Who am I?"is the voice of your soul.You can't answer Goduntil you answer yourself.Before you come out of hiding,find your identity and your purpose."

"A Note from Time Management [10w] Our time machine's temporarily out of order. Come back yesterday."

"Soulmate [10w] When you meet your soulmate,God's walked into the room."

"Thorny Love [10w] A thorn by any other name would hurt as much."

"Suicide Note [10w] "Don't ask why I committed suicide.Question why everybody doesn’t."

"Leaping lemmings! Leaping lemmings!I so adore ya'Can't get enoughJust want more’o'ya'!When I've had my fill'o'ya',I long for anotherRefill'o'ya.So, let's cut my spiel And here's the deal:I'm just gonna' haveta' cloneya'!So, when we're doneJust having fun --I'm just gonna' haveta' boneya'Again."

"Gradually Then Instantly [10w] We fall in love the way we lose our minds."

"Missouri State Motto Salus populi suprema lex esto [16]If our chiggers don't getcha', Rush Limbaugh will."

"Rules of Etiquette [10w] Rules of etiquette are pretend manners for the lower classes."

"Senility [10w] Senility's like a bottle of Coke that lost its bubbles."

"Democracy, Really [10w] A democracy is free to replace one tyranny with another."

"Love on Fire [10w] A man in love cannot see fire or smell smoke."