#personal-development

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"Senility [10w] Senility's like a bottle of Coke that lost its bubbles."

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"Pulling a Houdini Relationships are magic;we're always getting each other out of handcuffs and strait-jacketswhile locked in a steamer trunk underwater."

"War [10w] When leaders threaten war,they’re breaking dirt on our graves."

"Shiva Haiku Sitting shiva.One more day of thisand I'll die of boredom."

"Who, Me? We marry nearly the same person over and over again,hoping next time they'll get it right."

"Where the Fuck is Waldo Even whens I finds Waldothat crackhead nigga won't cough up the five dollars he owes me."

"Why We Need Smart People [10w] We need smart people to call other smart people morons."

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"Metamorphosis [10w] Change. Become the butterfly.Don't stay a caterpillar with wings."

"Figure, Woman, Wife I study the sleeping figure,Stare at her sated curl of lip;Her lids sealed in dreams so pureMy love's secured from tip to tip.I study the sleeping womanHer forehead faint with sweatHer eyes wildly remmingOf adulterous sex, I bet.I study the sleeping wife,Her mouth faintly drawing breath;Her throat pouring pools of blood ~How I loved this woman to death."

"Heaven [10w] Heaven’s not a destination ~it’s a way of processing life."

"Long Term Relationships [10w] Long term relationships should begin and end with a laugh."

"Area 51 [20w] If aliens were truly looking for intelligent life on earth,what the fuck were they thinking going to New Mexico?"

"Love Fades [10w] Like our love,Chinese painters show distance in faded grays."

"Evil [10w] Believing you're evil sets into motion the wheels of self-destruction."

"Women Kissing :-)*(-: Women kissing publicly it has all the sincerity of an Israeli soldier hugging a Palestinian secretly checking for an explosive vest.* ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿’̿’̵͇̿̿з=(இಠ ᴈ muah εఠയ=/̵͇̿̿/̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿*自"

"Galoshes Haiku Cherry blossoms bloomin the morning mist.Thank God I took my galoshes."

"Dialogue Knowledge compromises its truthonce it ceases to be a dialogue."