#personal-development

"Wherefore Art Thou, William [10w] Every Shakespeare mouse 'tis tim'rous and every lover 'tis fuck'd."

"The Albanian Art of Subtle Seduction [10w] "You have an amazing mind now show me your tits."

"Death [10w] What the the dying most resent is life goes on."

"Poets Be Realists! Poets be realists!It's O.K. to keep your jobs ~just don't quit your day dreams."

"Birds [10w] When a bird wakens, flight is no longer a dream."

"United Negro College Fund: A mind is a terrible thing to waste... ...and so is your paycheck,so don't waste good money on a lost cause."

"Upgrading [10w] Promise them the worldto get the universe in return."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"Preserving Beauty [10w] + {Couplet} Preserving beauty is futile;even Cleopatra returned to the Nile."

"Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband."

"Life is like a sandwich!Birth as one slice,and death as the other.What you put in-between the slices is up to you.Is your sandwich tasty or sour?Allan Rufus.org"

"My Secret for Out-of-the-Box-Thinking To help me writein my signature out-of-the-box style,I sit in front of my humidifier that I've filled up with Grey Goose vodka.My humidifier is now at Underwriters Laboratoriesin a 12-Step Programand buddied up with a de-humidifier."

"Committees [10w] A committee sits in a rectangle and talks in circles."

"War [10w] When leaders threaten war,they’re breaking dirt on our graves."

"Time Time waits for no man ~but for hot women Time makes exceptions."

"Love and Blindness [10w] Love may be unilaterally blind,but divorce blinds both parties."

"Man vs. Chimp Even chimpanzees are toolmakers,but only man has the unique honor of being a Godmaker."

"Rain Check I'm a shitty typist and speller, I hunt and peck,I wrote, "i LeFt mY sWeEtToOtH iN yOuR nEcKoF tHe WoOdS, cOuLd YoU pLeAsE bRiNgIt BeCk."Surprisingly, you did,and left."rAiN cHeCk."

"Breaking with Tradition is Tradition You can take the poem outside of tradition,but you can't take tradition out of the poem."