#personal-development

"Summer NYC ☜ʇɥƃᴉlɟ☞'ɥsɐp ɐ 'ɥsɐlds ∀˙ɥʇɐq ʍollɐɥs ɐ ʇɐ sʍoɹɹɐds ǝʞᴉlsɹǝlʞuᴉɹds ʇɐ uǝɹplᴉɥƆ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Children at sprinklerslike sparrows at a shallow bath.A splash, a dash, ☜flight☞"

"Gratitude is where every positive attitude starts."

"Thank You Dick Wolf [10w] TV crime shows taught me it’s best to lawyer up."

"Rice-a-Roni: The San Francisco treat... ...the other treat, of course, being anal penetration."

"A Frog in my Throat I had me frog in my throat.I swallowed hard and it croaked.Tasted like shit.Next time I get me a frog in my throat,my snooty French boyfriend better wash his dick with soap."

"Sunshine On My Shoulders When you're home's always filled with sunshine,you're either blessed or it's time to fix the roof."

"Death is Opening Night Everything's that happened yesterday is a rehearsal for everything that will happen..."

"Pulling a Houdini Relationships are magic;we're always getting each other out of handcuffs and strait-jacketswhile locked in a steamer trunk underwater."

"As Dead As "Nothing's changed at my place of birth.It is as dead as I remember leaving it."

"How Hard? [10w] Fuck’em hard enough to make their breasts move like Jell-O."

"New Age Hype Don't 'honor your feelings.'Half the time they're full of shit.Don't 'embrace' anything without a pulse.Mindfulness should include not listening to quacks."

"Relatively Speaking [10w] The irony about 'relativism theories' is that they're relative too."

"2D or Not 2D [10w] The best thing about a two-dimensional world is nobody's fat."

"Southern Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Sure nuff, I'm happier than a cat on a formerly hot tin roofwhich now usesNXT Cool Zone® heat reflecting roof coating ~but I'm still ornier than a mule on loco weedand a whole lot hornier than a two-dicked billy goat.You gots any coatin' for dat?"

"A Moment Before Impact [10w] The deer's eyes were moonstones, reflecting back my car's headlights."

"Eye of God [10w] The Hubble-Universe is a microchip in the Eye of God."

"Damn You, TripAdvisor! My penis deserves to be a World Heritage Site,judging by the number of tourists trampling on my balls."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"How to Exercise Caution [10w] Walk in the counsel of the wickedon your treadmill."

"Upgrading [10w] Promise them the worldto get the universe in return."