#personal-development

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"Ferdinand VII of Spain {Couplet} He who can false loyalty feignshall sit twice upon the throne of Spain."

"Meaning of Life {Couplet} Life's but the love and laughter we've amassed,the friendships forged that shall outlastpossessions, station and renown,the make-up palette of a clown."

"Child on a Swing Haiku Child screeches like birdas swing reaches for heaven.Stars fill his pocket."

"Facebook's New Marketing Slogan "We can only be lonesome together.900,000,000 served."

"please=""hand=""me=""the=""remote,=""dear."=""[10w]=""The most effective method of birth control is grannie panties."

"Oy Vey Haiku (g)Nat's sphincter clenched.The skinhead asked, 'You a Jew?Minyan's one man short."

"Dating Asian Her Kung Fu style was not too bad,but at doggie style she had me had."

"Entrepreneurs [10w] A man should be judged by the companyhe sells."

"Err "To err is human ~ more wine!"

"Let's get physical, physical [10w] All physical contact is meaningful,even if meaningful means sleazy."

"Mint Julep {Couplet} I've had more than a hint of a tulip or two,after treating them to a mint julep, or two."

"Love Scars Love leaves more scars than a ten car pile-up ~and nobody's got insurance."

"Kansas Haiku "Ya' know Superman'sfrom here and Jor-El could'vesent him to New York."

"Glow in the Dark "You've led me from stark nightwith a love that glows in the dark."

"Rainbows and Gratuitous Violence Whenever I see a rainbow, I want to punch a penguin in the face."

"The 2-Step Self-Discovery Program The first step in self-discovery is not giving a shit what anybody else thinks.The second step is knowing you're a self-centered asshole."

"Star No matter how bright the star, it's just part of a galaxy which is part of a constellation which is part of the night skywhich is part of the known universewhich is a speck of dust in God's eye."

"The Poet's Job [10w] + {Couplet} Trigger memory, explode an emotion;the poet must create commotion....................................................­....................."

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."