#personal-growth

"Why Utopias Fail When you tie several horses together and one takes the lead, they all fall."

"United Negro College Fund: A mind is a terrible thing to waste... ...and so is your paycheck,so don't waste good money on a lost cause."

"Toasts During the hymeneal repast,The guest stood silent as toasts were cast.The Best Man bore witness to a dozen years pastThe Bridesmaid joked about a relationship that wouldn’t lastThe groom listened and held the hand of the brideKnowing his real toast was buttered on the other side."

"Bagels and Lox Life's an everything bagel;love is a schmear of scallion cream cheese;and lox, no matter how you cut it,is resistant to dumbass metaphors."

"Indiscernible Love [10w] True love's so effortless, others can hardly see it's happening."

"What happens when you trip China's Premier Li Keqiang on a banana peel? Your wind up with an even more slippery slope."

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."

"Spineless "How do you know which invertebrate lacks resolution if they're all spineless?"

"Sixty is the New Fifty The good news is sixty is the new fifty.The bad news is twenty is the new ten."

"Hi-Yo Silver! Away! [10w] "Kimosabe, me wanna fuckum Pamela, pronto.My teepee's blue."Tonto"

"Unconditional Love [10w] If you're not giving unconditional love,you're offering conditional hate."

"Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible."

"Liberating Dreams [10w] God was with Joseph in prison.They escaped through dreams."

"Virtual Friends [10w] Internet camaraderie's bullshit because these 'friends' can't be relied upon."

"Scientifically Proven [10w] Mariah Carey has a brain the size of a walnut."

"Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: It's the cheesiest... ...advertising slogan ever!"

"Gained in Translation [10w] In timeless truths there's more gained than lost in translation."

"Love's War [10w] In love's war there aren't winners and losers ~just casualties."

"Seduction [10w] Seduction comes from our innate instincts for hunting and killing."

"Russian, Metafizicheskiy-poshlost This is the humorous metaphysical banality like watching Tolstoy's wife, Sophia, nag her husband about leaving borscht stains on the table linen. The resulting discombobulation totally messed up the ending of Anna Karenina."