#positive-attitude

"Hermits vs. Rising Real Estate Costs [10w] Hermits can no longer afford a cabin in the woods."

"Broken [10w] + {Couplet} "His gifts have become broken things, hidden from my view,Sitting on a shelf, above my shoes, like exterminated Jews."

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"As Long As It Has a Fast Internet Connection {Couplet} I need a cozy den to winter in,a hiberaculum away from the city's din."

"The Human Race Pleasure is the sprint.Contentment is the 5 mile.Happiness is the marathon."

"Love's a Sacred Vessel [10w] Love's the sacred vessel embracing the mystical energy of evolution."

"The Road to Hell The road to hell is paved with 16 in. x 16 in. Red Brickface Concrete Step Stones.Only $2.97 each.Always in Stock atThe Home Depot."

"Accurs'd McDonalds, I Bite my Thumb at Thee! {Couplet} Let vex'd heavens rant and rage,This here McNigga slave ain't workin' for no McMinimum wage."

"How to Exercise Caution [10w] Walk in the counsel of the wickedon your treadmill."

"I will always find a way and a way will always find me."

"Spineless [10w] There are more spineless men on the planet than jellyfish."

"Disability [10w] Unconditional love can turn a child's disability into an advantage."

"Consolation [10w] Man finds consolation in love, laughter and Ben & Jerry's."

"A Chuck Yeager Moment {Couplet} There's a sonic boom resonating in my head as I break through the 2000 HP follower watershed."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"Breaking with Tradition is Tradition You can take the poem outside of tradition,but you can't take tradition out of the poem."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Fugly Fishmates For every woman that looks like a hatchet-faced haddockthere's an equally ugly flounder-faced man with even fewer prospects."

"My Brooklyn Childhood [10w] "Motherfucker! I gotta put more goddamn change in the swear-jar."

"Finally, I Know Who I Am You are what you eat.~ Ludwig Andreas FeuerbachWe become what we think about.~ Earl NightingaleI'm a Horny Pizza!"