#positive-quotes

"New Year's Resolutions New Year's resolutions shouldn't be about doing new things;it should be about stopping to do the shitty things you're already doing."

"Rhyme vs. Reason {Couplet} Do not try to make rhyme of reason,nor reason of rhyme;For the former's too systematic,the latter's too sublime."

"The Road to Hell The road to hell is paved with 16 in. x 16 in. Red Brickface Concrete Step Stones.Only $2.97 each.Always in Stock atThe Home Depot."

"Unless you're a lesbian... [10w] Feminism is not a sustainable position without giving up love."

"Who, Me? We marry nearly the same person over and over again,hoping next time they'll get it right."

"BMW: The ultimate driving machine... ...just like our gas chambers were the ultimate killing machines."

"Penetration [10w] The difference between truism and an enlightened [10w] is penetration."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"New Year Resolutions I [10w] Change my voice;unclog my ears;open my heart."

"Jealousy [10w] Jealousy's like being reprimanded for a crime you haven't committed."

"Joussard, Alberta, Canada Haiku Love North Country Fair.Music, dance, artisan market ~a walk back in time."

"Lost Love [10w] + {Couplet} Lost love's the season of mists,Though they are gone, memory persists."

"Regret vs. Good Times "If I had to regret the good times I spent with every lover who eventually disillusioned me,my love life would be reduced to ten seconds."

"ESL New immigrantswho've taken ESL (English as a Second Language),will always misunderstand sarcasm ~but those fuckers sure as shit enjoy the prices at Walmart."

"Busch Beer: Head for the mountains... [10w] ...and fall off the precipice shitfaced."

"Free Will [20w] A bunch of amino acids bumping up together is not the scientific explanation of free will, it's grilling a hamburger."

"Shadows are only Neutral at Noon [10w] + {Couplet} Whose side shadows fall upon,tis' ordained by reigning sun."

"Arches National Park, Utah BloodshotZiggurats of rock against unbending sky,sandstone fins and eyes of ancient earth behemoth.Your windows wedged by cosmic hands of rain and melting snow, of frost and ice, of gravity and geologic time, patient and untiring,self-possessed like a child's perception of endless summer."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"Chutzpah {Limerick} Despite your unmitigated audacity,you're effrontery remains one of opacity.Let me suggest you turn Jewand learn chutzpah too,to realize your fullest capacity."