#positive-quotes

"Six-Pack [10w] A six-pack of beer's inversely proportional to six-pack of abs."

"Love in the Afterlife [10w] Maybe I'll love you in the afterlife.This life, fuhgeddaboudit."

"Discrete vs. Discreet Moonlight falls upon my feet,beyond the sun's overwrought conceit.I'm painted pristine white, without the heat;reflection's cool reflection~ how discreet!"

"Sharia Justice [10w] Sharia justice is a lynch mob masquerading as Allah's will."

"When people tell you that you are good for nothing, remember that God made the world from nothing and nothing can change into something anytime."

"Noah [10w] God, I love rain too ~but this is fucking ridiculous!"

"Mingling Defined [10w] Superficial people engaging with superficial people on a superficial level."

"Frank Lloyd Wright {Couplet} Frank Lloyd Wright eliminated the confining wall,so now when your wife screams at youit sounds like you're in Tammany Hall."

"Lady Clowns [10w] Lady clowns drip menstrual blood in seven luscious rainbow colors."

"Measuring Love The only scientist who can measure love is the onewho's in love with another scientist."

"Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry."

"Accurs'd McDonalds, I Bite my Thumb at Thee! {Couplet} Let vex'd heavens rant and rage,This here McNigga slave ain't workin' for no McMinimum wage."

"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."

"Barnum & Bailey Circus: The Greatest Show on Earth... ...when you can't afford Cirque du Soleil."

"Hellman's Mayonnaise: Bring out the Hellman's and bring out the best... ...artery clogger since Burger King’s Triple Whopper with Cheese."

"UPS [10w] Women at work judge the UPS man by his package."

"Bonjour [10w] You're more obscure than first we met,"uttered with regret."

"Voodoo I'm phobic about pins and needles.Can I just stick a voodoo doll in the microwave?"

"Err "To err is human ~ more wine!"

"Bridges [10w] Bridges are overpasses for commuters and roofs for the homeless."