#positive-quotes

"Rat Trap Haiku 'Hmm, 12 by 13,4 by 9. Oy! You call thisrat trap an apartment?"

"The Stink of Hate {Couplet} When haters write they raise a stink;must be the venom coursing through their ink."

"Rainbows and Gratuitous Violence Whenever I see a rainbow, I want to punch a penguin in the face."

"Free Will [20w] A bunch of amino acids bumping up together is not the scientific explanation of free will, it's grilling a hamburger."

"Me vs. Me Only the practice of empathy and gratitudecan make the opaque ego transparent to receivethe loving light emanating from your soul.Hate and selfishness will always leave you'in the shadow."

"Great Poets [10w] Great poets can milk blood and tears from a stone."

"Compassion and Self-Neglect [10w] Compassionate people know how to care of everybody but themselves."

"Good vs. Great [10w] To be good twice is a true mark of greatness."

"Fugly Fishmates For every woman that looks like a hatchet-faced haddockthere's an equally ugly flounder-faced man with even fewer prospects."

"The Albanian Art of Subtle Seduction [10w] "You have an amazing mind now show me your tits."

"Perfection [10w] If you've attained perfection,then what's the point of living?"

"Ringtones Haiku 'Oy! Dai, da-ye-nu,Dai, da-ye-nu, Dai, da-ye-nu...'"Answer your fucking phone!"

"Maine State Motto Dirigo. [10]You won't find no niggers here, eh."

"Eckhart Tolle for Sociopaths The foundation for all abundance is having more cool shit than your neighbor."

"Embittered [10w] "His heart blistered like paint peeling from an old rig."

"Pamela Anderson Haiku Ben Stillerbeds Pamela Anderson.My alarm clock rings"

"Pussy Whipped I was pussy whipped with four lashes.It was a helluva threesome ~but I still can't get the damn mascara off my one-eyed snake."

"Listen to the Wisdom of Shakespeare 'To thine own self be true and fuck'em till they're back and blue."

"Comedy vs. Satire [10w] Comedy pokes fun at society's self-inflation;satire deflates the balloon."

"Angels vs. Fools [10w] Au contraire: Angels rush in where fools fear to tread."