#powerful-story

"Clairol: Does she or doesn't she... ...take it up the ass."

"Goose Neck [10w] Whenever a goose has a car accident, the traffic sucks."

"Lowbrows vs. Highbrows If you show something lowbrow to a highbrow does it wind up becoming crusty eye caca?"

"From the Slobodan Milošević interview during the the Hague Tribunal : 'What are your hobbies?' [10w] "I enjoy gardening because weeding reminds me of ethnic cleansing."

"Let's Face It [10w] If you've peed on enough fire hydrants, you're a dog."

"Selfies [10w] Selfies allows you instant gratification and reminiscence all at once."

"Reflection Upon Reflection [10w] Don't look into a mirror in rooms full of mirrors."

"Small Degrees Lobster don't fathom they're being cooked,like relationships being snuffed out in small degreesbut in reverse, as love begins to freeze over, trapping you in a impenetrable ceiling of ice until you drown."

"Want vs. What's Coming to You As the Rolling Stones say,You can't always get what you want ~but God will always give you what's coming to you."

"Deal or No Deal ~ Deal with It "God, please tell me the place I'm going after I dieis filled with bright eyes and bushy tails, or I'm not going."

"Doldrums People who live in the doldrumscan't throw caution to the wind."

"Evil Thoughts [10w] Believing 'You're either with us or against us' is evil."

"Hellman's Mayonnaise: Bring out the Hellman's and bring out the best... ...artery clogger since Burger King’s Triple Whopper with Cheese."

"Let Others Speak [10w] When others speak of your virtues they grow tenfold."

"Hermit Crab Should a hermit crab be required to have a real estate license?"

"Gold Diggers are Always at Two Weddings A gold digger's eyes are searching for her next husband at her wedding."

"Leap of Faith [10w] Seeing God withinis where the leap of faith lands."

"Too Beautiful for Words [10w] + [10w] When nature presents us with miracles too beautiful for words,it is either a mountain, a beach, or a baby."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"Humble Wishes [10w] "God, all I simply ask is that I become perfect."