#quote

"Adult Pretend [10w] "I'm tired of playing 'pretend';let's play 'get-real, bitch."

"Ferdinand VII of Spain {Couplet} He who can false loyalty feignshall sit twice upon the throne of Spain."

"A-New-Year's-a-Comin' [10w] A new year is coming!Let's all make new mistakes!"

"What Makes a Terrorist Tic {Couplet} "If you want to glimpse how dark I really am,Place me beside the brilliant words of our Holy Qur'an."

"Soulmate [10w] When you meet your soulmate,God's walked into the room."

"Chutzpah {Limerick} Despite your unmitigated audacity,you're effrontery remains one of opacity.Let me suggest you turn Jewand learn chutzpah too,to realize your fullest capacity."

"Royal Pricks [10w] Woe unto the king of his bubble who's a prick."

"Dressed to Kill [10w] At fashionable parties,vegetarians should not be dressed to kill."

"Coffee Wisdom [2] For a real manthe only thing better than the scent of pussyis the smell of freshly ground coffee."

"Who Isn't [10w] Psychotherapy's powerless once you assume you're smarter than the therapist."

"The Cure [10w] Laughter, love and faith can cure 95% of all illnesses."

"The moment you start arguing with an ignorant fool, you have already lost."

"Cutthroat Competition [10w] If competition becomes cutthroatit suggests business has become piracy."

"Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker players have a tell when they're bluffing:they always raise you."

"Mercy vs. Revenge "May God have mercy on my unfaithful, back-stabbing, adulterous husband because I sure as hell won't."

"One Poet, 20 Months, 6000 Poems [10w] Let me take this breath... to celebrate my 6000th poem."

"Oxford, England Haiku City shrouded in fogand within the blinding mist we found each other."

"Inspiration vs. Plagiarism [10w] Inspiration is improving on another's idea;plagiarism is copy/paste piracy."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"Memory Timeline of Divorce Divorce +1 year: "Just because we don't talk, it doesn't mean I can't stop thinking about you."Divorce +10 years: "The one good thing that came out of our marriage was our wonderful children."Divorce +20 year: "Who? Doesn't ring a bell."