#sacred-teachings

"Time Time waits for no man ~but for hot women Time makes exceptions."

"Regret vs. Good Times "If I had to regret the good times I spent with every lover who eventually disillusioned me,my love life would be reduced to ten seconds."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"Star No matter how bright the star, it's just part of a galaxy which is part of a constellation which is part of the night skywhich is part of the known universewhich is a speck of dust in God's eye."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Six-Pack [10w] A six-pack of beer's inversely proportional to six-pack of abs."

"The Machismo Motto [10w] "When we are not hard as nails we get screwed."

"Pushkin When Pushkin came to Shovekin all hell broke loose."

"What Women Think Women don't care if you got a six pack if you slurp you soup."

"Who Am I "I don't know who I am whenI'm not the person who loves you."

"Cinco de Mayo [10w] What day do the dead party to celebrate the living?"

"Rotaryrotatory In a universe composed wholly of revolving doors we'll have no need for gatekeepers or tipping doormen at Christmas."

"Love's Reward [10w] + {Couplet} Love repaid is love's reward;recompense fair towards being adored."

"Rationalize [10w] Man needs an apt aphorism to rationalize his ruthless actions."

"Optimists vs. Death [10w] Optimists are hopeful people who see a coffin as half-full."

"Hug [10w] To embrace what you truly love,give it a hug."

"Legacy To leave a legacy,you first gotta leave your leg in the door."

"Me vs. Me Only the practice of empathy and gratitudecan make the opaque ego transparent to receivethe loving light emanating from your soul.Hate and selfishness will always leave you'in the shadow."

"Amazon.com Amazon.com is the Church of Consumer Capitalismwhose ethics demands we know the price of everything,the value of absolutely nothing of true moral valueand most importantly ~Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought."

"Renewal Cream [10w] The features of the human face are enriched by poetry."