#sacred-teachings

"How to Exercise Caution [10w] Walk in the counsel of the wickedon your treadmill."

"2D or Not 2D [10w] The best thing about a two-dimensional world is nobody's fat."

"Poet and the Fool {Couplet} {Limerick} The fool does his ego inflate,much like a poet does his oeuvre overrate.But the truth of the matter is that neither shit matters;harsh reality shall both nitwits deflate."

"Darkness Darkness is a decision the light cannot dissuade."

"Memory Foam [10w] She had an ass like an elephants memoryfoam pillow."

"BMW: The ultimate driving machine... ...just like our gas chambers were the ultimate killing machines."

"Over [10w] It's never ever over because the fat lady can't sing."

"Learning from Experience Learning from experience means, 'Boy, did I just fuck up!"

"Grease [10w] Relationships between people are rarely frictionless;they all need grease."

"Free Lunch There's no such thing as a free lunch ~for people who haven't yet learned to beat the system ;)"

"Selfie [10w] For the millennial generationa selfie is a family portrait."

"Curse of the Ageing Woman {Couplet} I'm a wallflower, bluestocking, left on the Shelf, When you're beyond one's sell-by date, you've left by yourself,"

"Finding Fault [10w] + {Couplet} We find in others faultWhenever our wounds perceives salt."

"Infinite Promise The carrot of infinite promise always dangles just inches beyond our noses.The trick is to surreptitiously switch that carrot for a zucchini."

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"Travel [10w] The difference between a traveler and vacationer is one arrives."

"Truth {Couplet} Since every truth worth saying, has been already said,our job's to refine it, question it, or turn it on its head."

"Memory Timeline of Divorce Divorce +1 year: "Just because we don't talk, it doesn't mean I can't stop thinking about you."Divorce +10 years: "The one good thing that came out of our marriage was our wonderful children."Divorce +20 year: "Who? Doesn't ring a bell."

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Fear is the Best Test Will the fear of going blind make youa voracious reader, a world traveleror paralyze you with a thousand other fears?"