#sacred-teachings

"Omnipresence Under The Christmas Tree "I wish I was a schizophrenic with déjà vu so I could've been everywhere simultaneously."

"Garden [10w] A garden is a poem written with flowers on earth."

"Objective Journalism Foreign journalists will always compromise objectivity to preserve relationships that give them better access."

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."

"Consolation [10w] Man finds consolation in love, laughter and Ben & Jerry's."

"Spineless "How do you know which invertebrate lacks resolution if they're all spineless?"

"Ode to a Wastepaper Basket I love the way you sit in the corner,gracious like a lover,catching my every crumpled vanity."

"Socrates [10w] "I know less than you.That's how smart I am!"

"The Albanian Art of Subtle Seduction [10w] "You have an amazing mind now show me your tits."

"Sublime Beauty When I shut my eyes, I can move mountains.When I open them, mountains can move me."

"Transubstantiation [10w] Transubstantiate digression into confessionand drink from poetry's Holy Grail."

"Depth of Love [10w] The longer the time between relationships,the deeper your love."

"Poetry and Ostrich Feathers A poet should leave his poem covered with a faint film of fairy dust,inviting the reader to bring his faint heartand an ostrich feather duster to the reading."

"Hung [10w] Being caught with your pants down is a hanging offense."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"The Sound of Killing [10w] + [10w] A doe, a deer, a femaledeerin my headlights.A doe, a deer, a femaledeeron my sunroof."

"Compassion [10w] Compassion is the combination to enter the vault of heaven."

"Royal Pricks [10w] Woe unto the king of his bubble who's a prick."

"Talented [10w] Being called talented brings with it more hatred than applause."

"What Might Have Been {Couplet} Dwell not upon what might have been,Within such idle spin, you can never win."