#sacred-teachings

"A Note from Time Management [10w] Our time machine's temporarily out of order. Come back yesterday."

"Toasts During the hymeneal repast,The guest stood silent as toasts were cast.The Best Man bore witness to a dozen years pastThe Bridesmaid joked about a relationship that wouldn’t lastThe groom listened and held the hand of the brideKnowing his real toast was buttered on the other side."

"Unruffled [10w] Nothing’s calmer than an unruffled duck eating a cool cucumber."

"Damn You, TripAdvisor! My penis deserves to be a World Heritage Site,judging by the number of tourists trampling on my balls."

"A Voice from the Past A book is a voice from the past whispering into your ear.Sometime I get the urge to exhume the author's bodyand hit him in the head with a shovel."

"9/11 Haiku: Rudy Giuliani, Mayor of New York "Now you boxcutter, Iraqi Pete, camel fuckersreally pissed me off!"

"Revel in the Unraveling Being authentic is lifting the maskon who you think you should be seen as,and becoming at ease with your bare ass vulnerability.Revel in the unraveling,take courage in sharing your imperfections,and you'llincrease your loveexponentially."

"You Can't Win [10w] Every bitch is a witch;every wife brings you strife."

"The State of the World Attests to This: [10w] Common people are too easily manipulated or stupid to vote."

"No-brainers [10w] No-brainers are challenging enough for people with no fucking brains."

"Excuse The bureaucrat's excuse, 'If I have to make an exception for you,I have to make an exception for everybody else',doesn't apply to me because I exceptional."

"Keep Austin Weird Haiku Neck dragon tattoo, piercings, purple haired kindergarten teacher.Keep Austin weird."

"Athens, Texas Haiku Blackeyed Pea Capital of the World.Yup, just another shithole."

"Russian, Umerzhurnalistka Someone who too many questions for his own good. Literally, 'Dead journalist'."

"Learning from Experience Learning from experience means, 'Boy, did I just fuck up!"

"Poets and Competitiveness [10w] "I'm the only poet I need to be better than."

"Frivolous Gossip and Poetry It's just so much frivolous gossip to dwell upon the moral merits of a poet;what should only concern the reader is the merit of his words.Leave moral judgments to the preachers and aesthetic judgments to the critical readers."

"Wedding Veil [10w] + {Couplet} A wedding veil's of no availbecause virginity's a fairy-tale."

"Laughter and The Chosen [10w] Making people laugh is God's gift to the Chosen People."

"Relatively Speaking [10w] The irony about 'relativism theories' is that they're relative too."