#sacred-wisdom

"Fat Bungee Jumpers When I watch a fat woman bungee jumpI swear I can feel the earth leaving its orbit."

"Scissor, Paper, Rock [10w] When time acts like a scissor,react like a rock."

"Idiots vs. Fools [10w] Idiots listen to other's bullshit;fools listen to their own."

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Using the Backdoor If we compare writing computer code to sex,then hacking would be anal sex."

"Storm [10w] Clouds darken to X-rays revealingthe tumorous thunder resounding within."

"First Things First [10w] God created the possibility of absurditybefore he created man."

"Straight Men vs. Curved Women [10w] 'Straight' men who approach 'curved' women must'mind the gap'."

"Love Poetry [10w] Love poetry is simply bleeding on the page with ink."

"Memory Timeline of Divorce Divorce +1 year: "Just because we don't talk, it doesn't mean I can't stop thinking about you."Divorce +10 years: "The one good thing that came out of our marriage was our wonderful children."Divorce +20 year: "Who? Doesn't ring a bell."

"What's a Proper Tribute to Robin Williams? [10w] When funnymen die is to better to laugh or cry?"

"A Voice from the Past A book is a voice from the past whispering into your ear.Sometime I get the urge to exhume the author's bodyand hit him in the head with a shovel."

"Alaska State Motto North to the Future.We got highest rape and STD-rate in the nation."

"Entrepreneurs [10w] A man should be judged by the companyhe sells."

"Life is like a game of chess.To win you have to make a move.Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHTand knowledge, and by learning the lessons that areacculated along the way.We become each and every piece within the game called life!"

"Thank You Dick Wolf [10w] TV crime shows taught me it’s best to lawyer up."

"Breaking with Tradition is Tradition You can take the poem outside of tradition,but you can't take tradition out of the poem."

"Doublemint Gum: Double your pleasure. Double your fun... ...we're talking ménage à trois, you son of a gun."

"Sex Kitchens of the Future [10w] Her entire kitchen was made of silicone ~ including her breasts."

"Hungry When you're hungry everything tastes good.Note to myself: Don't get married when you're hungry."