#sacred-wisdom

"Cancer [10w] It's odd that the cancer that kills you is you."

"The 2-Step Self-Discovery Program The first step in self-discovery is not giving a shit what anybody else thinks.The second step is knowing you're a self-centered asshole."

"Don't Quit ❣ Don't quit on love and it won't bail on you."

"Rules of Etiquette [10w] Rules of etiquette are pretend manners for the lower classes."

"Knowledge vs. Wisdom [10w] + [10w] Knowledge is the understanding that you are what you eat. Wisdom is not eating a pussy with hair on it."

"FBI vs. CIA When a person works for the FBI for 20 years and retires,he gets a watch.When a person works for the CIA for 20 years and retires,he gets watched.I know this not because I'm in law enforcement or with the NSA ~I know this because I have HBO."

"Lonely Marriage is the best refuge of the lonely to be lonely together,and if it lasts long enough,take turns being lonely."

"Fabulous Creatures and Trust Issues [10w] Never trust a sheep in wolf’s clothing despite the unicorn."

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Flattery [10w] Flattery is the only passport that will get you everywhere"

"Fucking 3rd World Taxi Drivers [10w] Taxi drivers have ruined more vacations than tsunamis or earthquakes."

"Ageing [10w] There's no such thing as age -- only degrees of opacity."

"Today's Affirmation [10w] "I'll unplug myself from myselfand plug into something higher."

"What's Hot [10w] + {Couplet} We incorrectly assume what's hotis becoming what we're not."

"Journalist asks me whether I can sit down for an interview... Sorry, I can't talk now. I'm busy writing up a storm.How about tomorrow?Sorry, tomorrow I'm bust conjuring up a tornado."

"Minus One [10w] We more people we fuckthe more lonely we become."

"Nursing Homes [10w] Nursing homes are house haunted by the living and half-dead."

"New Year's Resolutions New Year's resolutions shouldn't be about doing new things;it should be about stopping to do the shitty things you're already doing."

"Why Don't You Practice What You Preach [10w] The reason I teach and preach?In order to learn."

"There's More Than Two Choices [10w] Don't take the road less traveled;blaze your own path."