#sage

"Comfort Zone Your comfort zone has a clock on it, ticking off until it becomes your death zone."

"Political Strategists Avoids the Controversial [10w] Politicians win by pandering to the base of shared assumptions."

"Wherefore Art Thou, William [10w] Every Shakespeare mouse 'tis tim'rous and every lover 'tis fuck'd."

"Memory Timeline of Divorce Divorce +1 year: "Just because we don't talk, it doesn't mean I can't stop thinking about you."Divorce +10 years: "The one good thing that came out of our marriage was our wonderful children."Divorce +20 year: "Who? Doesn't ring a bell."

"Stumble When you don't know how to end a sentence you've stumbled upon a truth."

"Minus One [10w] We more people we fuckthe more lonely we become."

"Russian, Umerzhurnalistka Someone who too many questions for his own good. Literally, 'Dead journalist'."

"Jesus [10w] "Sorry to keep you hanging,but it's just our nature."

"Finish Off Your Enemies If you finish off your enemiesdo they wind up more charming and with better manners?"

"Grass in a Sidewalk Crack Grass sprounting miraculously in a sidewalk crack is a metaphor forlousy maintenance."

"Writer's Block [10w] Every writer's block is surrounded by a million other possibilities."

"please=""hand=""me=""the=""remote,=""dear."=""[10w]=""The most effective method of birth control is grannie panties."

"Jealousy [10w] Jealousy's like being reprimanded for a crime you haven't committed."

"Please Don't Commemorate Me Just Yet [10w] The living are only commemorated when they're at death's door."

"My Fathers Last Words My dad was a sadist and whorehound.His last words were,'Son, I have a million dollars hidden in the."

"In a True Global World... [10w] Famous people should be allowed to travel without a passport."

"Area 51 [20w] If aliens were truly looking for intelligent life on earth,what the fuck were they thinking going to New Mexico?"

"ESL New immigrantswho've taken ESL (English as a Second Language),will always misunderstand sarcasm ~but those fuckers sure as shit enjoy the prices at Walmart."

"Diplomacy The diplomat's expert way of saying 'They should go fuck themselves' is:"We are agreed in principleand will take our minor differencesunder thoughful consideration."

"Legacy To leave a legacy,you first gotta leave your leg in the door."