#self-esteem-self-help-book

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"Preserving Beauty [10w] + {Couplet} Preserving beauty is futile;even Cleopatra returned to the Nile."

"The Flood that Did Not Subside [10w] What would today's world be,If Noah's dove flew into obscurity?"

"Poetry and Ostrich Feathers A poet should leave his poem covered with a faint film of fairy dust,inviting the reader to bring his faint heartand an ostrich feather duster to the reading."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"Premature Evacuation [10w] I've stopped all my relationships short,not unlike this poem."

"Selfie [10w] For the millennial generationa selfie is a family portrait."

"Indiscernible Love [10w] True love's so effortless, others can hardly see it's happening."

"AMTRAK: See America at see level... even though we cost twice as much as a plane and get you there 3 days later."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Hi-Yo Silver! Away! [10w] "Kimosabe, me wanna fuckum Pamela, pronto.My teepee's blue."Tonto"

"Selfies [10w] Selfies allows you instant gratification and reminiscence all at once."

"Vengeance, Thy Name is Woman Betrayed women aren't exactly vengeful,but they aren't exactly anything else."

"FBI vs. CIA When a person works for the FBI for 20 years and retires,he gets a watch.When a person works for the CIA for 20 years and retires,he gets watched.I know this not because I'm in law enforcement or with the NSA ~I know this because I have HBO."

"Neanderthal Poetry A poem should come as quick as lightningand create the awe Neanderthals felt cringing in their caves when hearing a clap of thunder."

"Soulmate [10w] When you meet your soulmate,God's walked into the room."

"Advice for Women at Starbucks If a vanilla latte and banana nut muffin doesn't solve the problem,perhaps you're going at it wrong."

"Suicide Note [10w] "Don't ask why I committed suicide.Question why everybody doesn’t."

"Concatenate /kənˈkætəneɪt/to link together, as in a chain Do you concatenate cats by tying their tails together or do you just stuff the tail of one into the mouth of the other?Which method is better for yanking your chain?"

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."