#self-esteem-self-help-book

"Jesus [10w] "Sorry to keep you hanging,but it's just our nature."

"Food If food comes with a labelthat's warning enough you shouldn't eat it."

"Brownie Mix [10w] + {Couplet} Betwixt hell and the River Styx,I'll be shitting bricks."

"My Sweet Home, Alabama If it grows, it sticks, if it crawls, it bites,if it's outside, it rusts,if it's ornery, it fights,if it's a dawg, it barks.if its a possum, it feignsif it's a buggy, it squeals,if it's winter, it's summer,If it's slimy, it's eels.If it ain't Dixie, it won't do,so let's fix to get piss drunkand lynch us another nigger and Jew."

"Reconstruction of Japan After World War II [10w] 'I am what I plan'became the motto of modern-Japan."

"Where the Fuck is Waldo Even whens I finds Waldothat crackhead nigga won't cough up the five dollars he owes me."

"Poets Job Description [10w] Poets console the soul with words and eyes with images."

"Love and Blindness [10w] Love may be unilaterally blind,but divorce blinds both parties."

"Tangled [10w] Love becomes a tangle of roots submerged in common soil."

"How to Exercise Caution [10w] Walk in the counsel of the wickedon your treadmill."

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"Poetry and Dogs [10w] Poetry and dogs make the best companions.Don't trust dogs."

"Siesta Mud tracked from the rice fields blazon a pathFrom kitchen to cellar escaping noon’s wrath.A quiet siesta to break the ordealOf scything and sifting and spinning the wheel.Half a dream later he returns to the fieldTo seeding earth’s furrows. massaging its yield.And when Sun descends gravely back to her tombHe tracks back to the kitchen, the cellar, his room."

"Whose Asphalt Is It? [10w] The road to mediocrity is paved with asphalt and tarmac."

"Pale Oak Leaves Scatter Pale oak leaves scatteraround my father's grave."For this I pay $30/month maintenance?"

"Rat Trap Haiku 'Hmm, 12 by 13,4 by 9. Oy! You call thisrat trap an apartment?"

"Marriage Material For women seeking a marriage partner,a man's sense of humor trumps good looks.Unfortunately for the funnymen out there,security trumps laughter."

"Man vs. Chimp Even chimpanzees are toolmakers,but only man has the unique honor of being a Godmaker."