#self-improvement

"Save the Last Dance for Me Life is a Hesitation Waltz danced to swing time measure. We're all given the free will to suspend our moving foot or slowly drag it during the halt."

"Preparation [10w] Hope for the best, but prepare for your insufferable wife."

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."

"No-brainers [10w] No-brainers are challenging enough for people with no fucking brains."

"Unless you're a lesbian... [10w] Feminism is not a sustainable position without giving up love."

"Minus One [10w] We more people we fuckthe more lonely we become."

"Good vs. Great [10w] To be good twice is a true mark of greatness."

"Advice for Women at Starbucks If a vanilla latte and banana nut muffin doesn't solve the problem,perhaps you're going at it wrong."

"Optimists vs. Death [10w] Optimists are hopeful people who see a coffin as half-full."

"Dating Asian Her Kung Fu style was not too bad,but at doggie style she had me had."

"Leap of Faith [10w] Seeing God withinis where the leap of faith lands."

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self."

"The Poet's Mind In so many ways I walk ablaze in a maze,my eyes in a glaze, my mind in a daze,this poem's just a phrase in the latency phase,rephrase, rephrase, rephrase..."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"Making excuses is one of a host of self-defeating behaviours and mental patterns that can block your success."

"In and Out [10w] Our infant blanket in the externalization of our mother's womb.ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ Intruth, we should be married under,sling our newborn babiesinand after deathbe shrouded in the same infant blanketwe were taken home from the hospital in."

"Having Words with Words [10w] ”I’ve had a falling out with words,leaving me speechless."

"They'd Rather Switch [10w] Hearing is wasted on the blind;sight, on the deaf."

"Embalming [10w] Injecting baking soda whitens, freshens, and softens the dearly departed."

"Rhode Island State Motto Hope.Not much here but at least we have Family Guy."